forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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