Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
