you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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