he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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