Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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