Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i love accidental penises.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
