i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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