I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
