so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
