dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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