It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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