my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
