this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
