can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
