The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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