weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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