Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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