You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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