normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You ruined the universe
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
