You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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