I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
