All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
