No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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