i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
