is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
this will be a night to untag.
We left an ass print on the piano.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
