My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
