I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
