then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
