which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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