if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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