Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
