I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
