Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
