Having a random hookup so left but love u
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
