You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
