I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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