Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
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