There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
