what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
