Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
You can't motorboat a personality
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
