whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
