Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
