I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
