she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
