whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
