whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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