See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I think I just shit out all my problems.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
