Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
