Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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