Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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