I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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