they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
