So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
