Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
